I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
