Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Randomize
