sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
