I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
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This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
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I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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