i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize