Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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