Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You can't special order awesome
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
