Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
