oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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