i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
