so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
