So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
