if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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