I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
