"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
