i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
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I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
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Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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