Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Pants are for mortals
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
