At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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