don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
