DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
