This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
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If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
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I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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