so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
