Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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