I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize