No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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