i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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