Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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