We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
