No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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