id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
