that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?