You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life