she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
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Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
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How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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