and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
it hurts more in the daytime
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
