you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm drive I can fine osifer
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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