Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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