I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
