If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
