I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
