Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just invented taco cereal.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
