Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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