i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
