i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
