no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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