did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
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