I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
