a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
