I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize