tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
