I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
