My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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