My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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