So drunk its hurt
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize