the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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