i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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