Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
