Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
