This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
