I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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