Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
