im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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